I remember one day walking into a shop; they had two of my favourite words- ‘Sale’ and ‘50%’. I remember spotting what was obviously the most amazing all white, wide leg jumpsuit I had ever laid my eyes on. I scoured the rack desperately looking for my size, then reality hit. There was only one left in the size below mine. Could I dare to dream? I held them up and thought, “yeah, they look pretty big, of course they’ll fit.” So I walked towards the change rooms with the hope of the world on my shoulder.

I put one leg in, good. Two legs, still good. I pulled the jumpsuit up over my waist, over my chest AND WE WERE STILL GOOD, PEOPLE!! I reached around to do up the zip but quickly realised this was going to require more than one person. Luckily I had gone with a friend who was willing to lose her fingerprints so I could fit into this jumpsuit. After what seemed like the time it would take for one to start a new colony, the zip was only half way up and it wasn’t going anywhere, anytime soon. At this point I assume you probably thought I acted reasonably and put the jumpsuit back….

Raise your hand if you’ve ever bought something knowing fully well it does not fit, in fact chances are that Donald Trump is more likely to stop tanning before that piece of clothing fit; but you still chose to buy it anyway? GUILTYYYY. Now, raise your hand if, whilst buying that piece of clothing you also told yourself, you weren’t crazy for dropping $100 on a pair of pants that you couldn’t get over one leg, because you were infact going to use this is the final motivation to finally lose all that weight? DOUBLE GUILTY.

I honestly have an entire wardrobe, within my wardrobe, of clothes, that have never been worn, that have gone there to die. My Husband has said to me many times, “why do you have those clothes, you have never worn  them, why don’t you just get rid of them?” To which, I was reply, through tears “David, I will wear them! I’M GOING TO STOP EATING CHOCOLATE WITH EVERY MEAL AND GET THE BODY I ALWAYS WANTED AND FIT INTO THOSE DRESSES.” At this point, we both know I’m lying- he knows I’m never going to wear those clothes and I know I’m not going to stop eating Chocolate with every meal- so he just looks at me, with pity in eyes and walks out of the room.

My husband clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about; yes it might have being 2 years since I bought that jumpsuit, no I still don’t fit in them (I’m not even going to lie, they’re even  tighter than when I first bought them), but I can’t just throw them away! What happens when I finally become Victoria Beckham thin? What am I supposed to wear? A bag? I’m investing in my future- kind of like money I’ve already started putting away towards my retirement. I would go as far as saying they’re the same thing. Eventually, I’ve gotta retire, right? Eventually, at some point, maybe one day, I’ll fit into that jumpsuit-even if it is, after retirement!

Dara

XOx