Some of you may not have noticed but I’m black. Not African American, light skin black; but black. As in the Sun is my bitch black.

My son is not black. He’s that envy-worthy golden, sun-kissed colour, white people lay in the son for hours for.

My husband is white. As in if he even thinks about the word Sun, his skin starts to redden and blister from the inside.

As you can imagine getting stared at is just a normal part of our relationship; from the time we started dating we’d get people smile, scowl, stare then walk then turn to stare again. When we introduced a little ‘caramel’ baby to the mix things only got even more comical. When said caramel baby was still very little we’d go to the shop with him in his pram and people would step over themselves trying to see what these two, opposite ends of the stages of cooking chicken people, could have possibly created. Most of the time they’re blown away by said baby (have you seen him? He’s bloody beautiful). Sometimes though it’s a little more sinister.

If you’ve never experienced what it felt to be different, everything I’m about to say will honestly just be dribble on a page and you should probably stop reading now.

Whether your kid blue, green, white, purple; if you have a baby people automatically feel that as an invitation to touch your baby. Without your permission. That’s just normal everyday for us. We were still in hospital 2 days after Micah was born and a lady walked up to us just so she could stick her hands into his crib.

You know what’s worse than that? Being alone with your son and having everyone assume you’re ‘taking care of him’. I wish I could say it only happened one time or that the very day my son was born and a nurse came into the room she asked me if THAT was my son. No, I’m just lying in this hospital bed, peeing into a bag after being sliced open.

Can I ask one thing? Assume. Assume that just because we have different skin tones that he’s mine. I’m hurt by very little things but having to reiterate that I belong with my son everytime we meet someone new. Being different is hard enough already.

Dara

XOx